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Monday, March 22, 2010


Seducing the Zodiac

Maybe it’s because I’m a Gemini. As a Twin, I find stories with multiple M’s just a little more fascinating than those with one M and one F. I like those too – and write them. But there’s something about an M/F/M or an M/M/F/M or a story with so many M’s the writer gives up and calls it an extended ménage. They’re so forbidden, so tantalizing, so “OMG how are they going to do that?”

So I got to wondering … does your sign say anything about you sexually? I thought I’d look into this a little more. Believe it or not, I found some answers. Fair warning: you might want to take them with a grain of salt, since they’re from a Taoist pimp who reads charts and owns a zodiac-based escort service.

According to him, each sign is linked to a particular body part. Touch that part, and they’re yours. For instance, with Pisces, it’s all about the feet. For Leo's, try the back. With Virgo’s, go for the stomach. Which sign corresponds to the sex organs? Oh, you naughty Scorpio’s!

Other tidbits from around the zodiac: Aries are the most naïve and, along with the rest of the Fire signs, like to dominate. Cancers are very motherly and rarely become escorts. As a Water sign, their moods shift a lot. Taurus are sensitive and can be clingy. Like the other Earth signs, they need structure and stability. When Leo’s have sex, they like to put on a show. Libras don’t like conflict and have nice butts, which they show off with nice lingerie.

Scorpios are the most sexual sign, but may have hidden sexual problems. To seduce a Sagittarius, listen to them but don’t pry. Capricorns like to be in control and are the most likely to stalk you. Aquarians are charming and like the lead-up to sex more than the act itself. Pisces are the most Goth sign and may have weird sleep patterns. To seduce them, be nice because they can be isolated.

As for Gemini’s … well, Gemini happens to be the only sign this particular expert hasn’t slept with. Why? He says that Gemini’s tend to go for people who know a lot about a subject that interests them. Like all Air signs, we like intellectual stimulation. Apparently the way to our hearts is through our minds.

Hmm, makes you wonder if his lack of success with Gemini’s means he’s not such an expert after all.

So can the zodiac explain my love for ménage stories? Maybe. After all, if Gemini’s like mental stimulation, maybe we like all the complications of a ménage. Maybe that explains why my latest book is an M/F/M about a receptionist and her two naughty bosses. (Talk about complicated!) Then again, maybe not.

Does any of this ring true for you? Does it sound like a load of hooey? Or maybe somewhere in between? I’d love to hear what you think!

Juniper Bell lives with her sweetie in a cabin in Alaska with no running water and a spectacular view of glaciers. She wound up in the frozen north after leaving her career as a stressed-out Los Angeles TV writer. Luckily, her love for writing survived the move. She’s been writing erotic romance for three years. Training the Receptionist, from Samhain Publishing, is her third book. She’s published with Samhain and Liquid Silver Books. Visit her website at, her blog at, friend her on FaceBook or follow her on Twitter.

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