Fear and Sex- Forever Intertwined
By Roxanne Rhoads
Fear and sex have always been intertwined.
For most of us at some point in our lives sex has been connected with fear and fear has been connected to sex- fear of having sex, fear of getting caught having sex, fear of getting pregnant or catching something because of sex, fear of sex for the first time or fear of the first time with someone new…
Fear can be erotic, it can be an aphrodisiac. Fear can make you feel really alive. Your heart races, your blood rushes through your veins, your temperature rises and your senses are on high alert- and all of this can make sex even more exquisite.
Consider the dating ritual of the male taking the female to a horror movie or a haunted attraction- she’s frightened, he can put his arms around her, comfort her, then later when alone that closeness can become something much more erotic. Fear becomes an aphrodisiac; the horror creates a need for life affirming, pleasurable actions to drown out the fear.
What’s more life affirming and pleasurable than sex?
Another role fear plays in our sex lives are that we are often attracted to the things we fear.
Some men are attracted to powerful women, sexually aggressive women- women that they fear, women that will dominate them.
In some cultures men are so fearful of women they do anything and everything to thwart their control and power- from surgically altering their bodies so they can not feel pleasure or be attractive or just hiding them under layers upon layers of clothing. Thankfully most of us women in the US don’t have to worry about such things, but no these practices still exist in our modern world is fearsome in its own way.
But I digress. I would rather concentrate on the more pleasurable aspects of fear.
Consider women who adore the bad boys.
Bad boys are forbidden and sometimes scary. We know they are wrong for us. Bad boys can be dominating, dangerous, big and completely fearsome- and that makes us want them even more. Some of us see bad boys as a project we can fix while others just want to ride that dangerous rollercoaster of fear and arousal.
Nothing shows how strong our attraction to bad boys is more than the surge of popularity of paranormal romance and paranormal erotica books.
Supernatural bad boys are the ultimate combination of fear and sexual attraction.
Consider the vampire who could snap us in two or drain us of blood before we could do anything about it, yet we crave him like no other.
How about the ferocious werewolf who could rip us to shreds? But oh yes we are attracted to his animal magnetism.
How about the seductive demon who displays danger more than any other creature yet his sexuality is so forceful, so apparent we just cannot deny him?
Fear and desire, such a delicious combination – especially for the paranormal predator and those of us drawn to them.
I love reading paranormal romances and paranormal erotica. It is both and escape and a desire driven thrill ride, a safe one at that because in the real world would we really want to date vampire? Hmmm…that’s a discussion for another time. :-)
I also love to write paranormal erotic romances, the little tingles of fear thrown into the attraction are delicious little tidbits that make being a writer such an awesome job.
One of my favorite stories that I have written is Eternal Desire. It displays a lot of the combinations of fear and arousal- the blood racing, heart beating, fear tasting so sweet…
Eternal Desire is set in New Orleans during Halloween- that’s a recipe for a frightening aphrodisiac isn’t it? Toss in vampires, ghosts and a gorgeous stranger and you have everything you need for an arousing fear filled erotic cocktail.
In my newest release An Unexpected Evening fear and sex mingle once again in an erotic tango for two involving a centuries old vampire who a bit of a recluse and a young witch who wants to see the real man hiding under those fangs. Her enthusiasm for life and thrills won’t let him stay hiding in his shell any longer. But can she handle the intensity he unleashes?
It’s a delicious little paranormal story with just a hint of kink.