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Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I Just Can’t Do It, Captain!

I have a good friend who told me all about the fun of fetishes. She had a couple in particular and was more than happy to tell me the fun of such activities. Actually it was great because I can use it for a story for later. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there are certain things I know nothing about. Beyond that, there are some I just plain don’t understand. I’m a firm believer in letting the characters do what they will do. Okay, but there’s an issue. You can BS your way through some things, but there are some that unless you know exactly what you’re doing you will look like a fool.

So yeah, I listened intently and went about my business. 

You’d think I’d take the info and file it away. You’d be wrong. I ruminated on it. I decided to figure out what my characters wanted to do that I had no clue about. It was rather eye-opening.
I’ve never been in a D/s situation. Not that I don’t want to, just never came to mind. I know exactly what it’s like to be told what to do, but I have no idea the craving, the need for this interaction. I can imagine something like it, but I’d feel less than on my game to try to write about. Another one I just don’t get is the fetish wear. I’m talking the harnesses and the leather with the rings. See? I’m not even sure what they are technically named. You’ll notice my characters don’t seem to go in that direction. Not that they can’t. They just seem to be rather tame.

But here’s where the problem lies. Recently some characters came to the forefront who wanted me to tell their story. I have no idea what it’s like to live in a committed ménage. I’ve lived with roommates that felt like I was the parent, but not a sexual relationship. These three were in a committed ménage and split. Problem? Two of the three want to get back together. Problem one is my lack of knowledge in living in a ménage situation. Problem two? They have a D/s relationship. One character is very much so the Dominant and the other two are happily submissive. The more I write the Dominant, the more he demonstrates less severe Dominant attitudes. I truly wonder if the act of being a Dominant is subjective. I want to let the character do as he pleases, but I also don’t want him to come across as a wimp or a fake.

Am I going to take the easy way out and say I can’t do it? Some days I’d like to. It’s the truth. At the same time, the easy way seems to be just that—easy. I’ll keep doing research and try to at least get a grasp on what a D/s relationship is so I can better tell their story. 

Never let it be said I didn’t suffer (albeit, without much suffering) for my art.
Wendi's newest book, Tangled Up, was released this week from Total-E-Bound Books.

About the author: Thanks for enjoying this work by Wendi Zwaduk. By day she’s a SAHM of one son, two dogs, and two cats, but at night she lets her inner muse run wild and writes tales of love won, lost, and won again. If she’s not at her computer, she can be found at her local dirt tracks cheering for the Late Model cars or haunting the local library in search of new authors. Check out her blog and website  


booklover0226 said...

As a fan, I appreciate you are taking the time to do more research. By doing so, it shows that you care what you are presenting to your readers, not just writing "some" book to sell.

Tracey D
booklover0226 at gmail dot com

CC Kaufman said...

Hi Wendi, I have encountered the same problem with characters. Research can be interesting, enlightening, and fun! I find a lot of information about sexual subjects unknown to me from friends I have made over the years who boldly go to places less traveled...CC

lisagk said...

Great post. Sounds like could be fun research.


Lisabet Sarai said...


I think that you must have some inkling of the dynamics or you would never have been visited by these characters in the first place.

It's a good thing that your Dom is not 100% dominant. Nobody is, and furthermore, you don't want him (is it a him?) to become a stereotype.

I have some real world experience with BDSM and menages (though I've never been part of the formal kinky scene). Feel free to contact me if you want to toss ideas around or ask questions!

(You can find my contact info on my website or at TEB.)


Wendi Zwaduk said...

Sorry it took me so long to get back here. I'm glad I did!

Lisa - thanks for the comment, it was fun!
CC - at least I'm not alone. But yeah, researching is a lot of fun. Eye-opening, but fun!

Tracey - Thanks for the comments. That really meant a lot to me. I write what the characters want to do and sorta hold on for the ride. :-)

Lisabet - thanks! I look up to you as a fellow author and to have the invitation extended, well, it's really awesome. I'll be in touch!