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Friday, June 24, 2011

GUEST BLOG:KevaD

Why Condoms? – by KevaD


First of all, I have to say this:

Unless you're going to kill them – slowly and lasciviously - by the second page, please don't name any characters Bella or Cullen ever again. And Jacob is creeping its way up the list. Thank you.

So… I'm not understanding the use of condoms in erotic stories. I'm not talking about the ones equipped with nubs and ridges – you know, the toys designed to increase pleasure and drive the partner to orgasmic insanity. I'm talking about the plain, boring, vending machine-available, latex sheath.

Is the use of a shrink-wrapped penis designed to promote safe sex? Isn't this fiction? Nobody gets pregnant unless the author wants them to get pregnant. To ward off disease? Again, hello… fiction. Nobody has an STD the author doesn't want them to have. Not to mention I've been reading more and more stories where the condom comes off just before ejaculation and the juices splat on sweaty bodies and into mouths. So much for disease concerns.

If a reader wants to be educated as to the dangers of any of the above, there are a multitude of text and medical books that can provide that information. Though, admittedly, those books probably won't send a ball of passion from your throat to the moist nest between your thighs.

How about helping a writer out here? Do you prefer the men in erotic romance to come (pun intended) packaged in plastic, or au natural? Why?

Never one to miss an opportunity, I will mention here that in my novel Sunday Awakening, Cheryl does shrink-wrap an erection. But she uses a gum wrapper and Bic lighter on a pervert on a bus. Ouch.

A former army medic, EOD specialist, police officer, auctioneer, furniture restorer, and antiques dealer, I clearly can't hold a job. But I love to write – about anything.

When not at the keyboard, shoveling snow or mowing our 5 acres outside Freeport, IL, I'm trying to explain to my wife that the SOAP channel and the Game network aren't the only channels on TV.

I love love. That first touch of skin, the first kiss, the moment two lovers shed their inhibitions and their clothing. Add a hint of danger, a threat neither lover has the power to control, a dark reality that causes the hero/heroine/hero/heroine to reach beyond who they are and find a vein of strength he or she never knew existed, and I'm there.

I'm a devoted story teller. Be it a comedy, mystery, thriller, or horror tale, I'm always busy working on a story. Some days I start at sunrise. Other days I stop at sunrise. The bottom line for me is, I have to write. It's who I am, what I do. I have to chase that dream.

What dream you ask? The one where the reader finishes one of my books and says, "Now that was a great story."

http://www.kevad.net/





Find out more about KevaD at http://www.kevad.net

19 comments:

DA Kentner said...

Thank you so much for allowing me to be here today!

Terra Pennington said...

Great posting and I don't really know if it really matters if protection is used when I read. If it fits into the story then good. If it don't then I don't stop reading because of it.

Do you have a web site? I would love to check out your books.

Terra

J.S. Wayne said...

In a real-life situation, I'm something of a condom advocate. But I think it takes the reader out of the fantasy, unless there's a very good reason for the condom to be there. (As a form of play, for example: she's demonstrating that a condom CAN be fun.)
As you said, in fiction, the author controls what does and does not happen. So if we choose to portray an STD-free world where pregnancy ONLY occurs as a choice of both parties, we can do that.
And when someone points the finger and says, "Well, in such and so's book they did it every third page and nothing happened. I did it twice and got the clap (pregnant, HIV, you name it)." It's not that we advocate high-risk behaviors, but that we're selling a fantasy. People who can't distinguish between fantasy and reality are the ones who get themselves in trouble. The ones who can finish the story, say, "Wow, that was hot"...and before acting on any urges they may have gotten make sure they're properly prepared.
Just my own personal.
Great post as always!

Terra Pennington said...

Good lord I need to open my eyes sorry I see the link to your web site. Is it Friday yet?

DA Kentner said...

Hello, Terra!
Thank you for your kind words and comments.
Please take a walk through my web site and blogs. The creatures there are meant to entertain, not bite.

Hi, JS.
Great to see you here. Thank you.
We do provide the readers with fantasies. The ones who can't seperate reality from fantasy are generally related to me.
Maybe I shouldn't have disclosed that. Oh well...

Lynne Roberts said...

I think if there's a way to slip the condom into the story, then you should do so. My editor/publisher has requested I do so the few times I haven't. (and I had good reason) I think, even in fantasy, there's an element of 'this could happen to me' I mean it's a fantasy we're living out with the characters and even caught up in the throes of passion, disease is just not sexy. I see it as part of my responsibilty as a romance writer to add to the mindset of condoms always. Sure, it's make-believe, no, they're not going to get pregnant (unless I want them to) or a disease, but if I've done my job right, the reader isn't thinking "this is only fantasy" they're living through the characters.

DA Kentner said...

Interesting points, Lynne, and while this post was meant to contain a bit of tongue-in-cheekiness, I truly am interested in what and how readers and writers feel about this topic.
I think it admirable you hold a degree of responsibility within your writing in regards to safe sex.
For me, it really does come down to the story and the characters and how the writer pulls me into the scene. A strong writer can take me anywhere. Generally in my stories, I don't include condoms, though I have one on a backburner where the use is an integral part solely because of the characters' lifestyles.
Thank you so much for your well-thought comments.

kbcutter said...

Ah, David-you read my mind.

And stole a blog topic from me!

Call the Thought Police!

The Dream Police.

Cheap Trick.


-winks-


Seriously, I think it should be up to the author whether he/she wants to have their characters use a condom. I think its quite silly to maintain the argument that it promotes safe sex.

Sorry, that penis ain't gonna shoot its load.

DA Kentner said...

Stole your blog topic?
Certainly not! Just because I hacked your files and found your draft? How dare you think such a thing!

Hi, KB. Thank you so much for dropping by and weighing in.

mary h said...

My sister lives in a condom in Madison, WI, and is extremely happy with its size. :) Best, Mary

Margie Church said...

I hate the ideas of finding easy ways to slip condoms on and off during love scenes...but unless there's a darn good reason, the relationship is monogamous, and/or they've been tested, I really don't see how you're going to get around it. Ultimately I think it illustrates respect for the partner. Just like washing and/or changing condoms if your characters have anal sex and then switch to vaginal. Or switching partners. There are clever ways to work it into the story and any good editor is going to call you on your bareback riding unless the aforementioned conditions have been stated and met.

DA Kentner said...

Mary H:
Thanks for the chuckle!

Hi Margie.
Since I'm not in to the multi-partner stuff, what I read and write is primarily monogomous, so I haven't crossed that road with an editor yet.
As you say, in monogomous stories, the condoms are primarily the author's choice, with - as we're finding out - some exceptions.

I would be concerned about authors being limited to specific guidelines for sex though, such as the use of condoms. Falling back on the "responsibility" comment, I can agree as to individual choice on that. Where I differ is an overall requirement that condoms be used in any and all sex scenes in order to teach "safe sex."

My fear/concern would be, where does that door end? When we start placing limitations on what we write, how characters must act, (I am not speaking in terms of the obvious taboos or violations of law), where do those limitations end?

Saewod Tice said...

First, this is an amazing blog topic. I'm jealous that I didn't think of this. :o)

Second, the question at hand - To cover your stump before you hump.

I have to agree that it all comes down to the story and the situation.

I've read and erotica story once where the guy 'just happened' to have a few condoms in his back pocket. It completely threw me off, since it was a chance meeting situation - completely unplanned. So, my mind was paused wondering what type of guy is this to carry around 3-4 condoms for no particular reason.

Then there have been other authors whom I've read their erotica and they really were able to slip the mention in there without causing pause.

Personally, in erotica, I am not concerned about a condom - most of the time. I'm in it for the amazing chemistry and hot scenes.

In the end, if it's well written, it doesn't matter.

Angel Martinez said...

Excellent topic! And one that I think can be batted around for quite a few rounds.

In one of my early stories, I made the mistake of not mentioning condoms. I made assumptions - my readers let me hear about it - so it's something I'm hyper-aware of now.

I write a lot of stories in which condoms would NOT come into play, though. Historical settings. Fantasy. SF where where are other solutions. So, yes, a lot depends on the circumstances of the story.

In a real-world contemporary? Here's my take: part of the story whether it's romance or an erotic encounter, is the people involved are supposed to care about each other. I find it hard to believe that the male in a het situation or the top in a gay situation cares if he doesn't suit up properly. Much more story stopping than the moment taken for the wrapper.

DA Kentner said...

Thank you, Saewod.

You made me laugh, and your comments made a lot of sense.
Definitely, if a story isn't well written, nothing else will matter.

DA Kentner said...

Hi Angel!
Thank you for dropping in. Seriously.

As always, your comments are on point.

The concept of the use as a display of concern and affection in the male's character is interesting.

DA Kentner said...

Once again, many thanks for allowing me to visit Whipped Cream, and I hope you'll let me invade your blog again in the future.

Michele said...

Alas, I think I'm late to the party.
My opinion - No, none, in erotic romance.
It's half the fun!

DA Kentner said...

You're not late, Michele. There was still a slice of cold pizza left.
Thank you stopping by!

Okay. I'm gone. Peace.